16 Comments
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Emily Curzon's avatar

It's such a simple reframe to shift our purpose in a conversation to connection rather than expressing our opinion. I love that!

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Sarah K. Butterfield's avatar

I need to reframe often! 😅

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Thaissa Lara's avatar

These words align so well with what I wrote yesterday!

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Sarah K. Butterfield's avatar

Great minds must think alike, haha!

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Sherry Fariss's avatar

The survey question about progressive faith threw me. Do you mean faith that is growing, progressing? Or did you mean politically? Or did you mean like the progressive church? It was too ambiguous for me to know how to answer. I tend to have a visceral reaction to the term “progressive,” though I know it isn’t always a dirty word.

I appreciate your notes about truly listening. I think it can be so healing, so generative to listen well and to be truly heard. The distinction between window-opening and door-slamming questions is so good. That’s one I really need to work on, especially with my kids. Sometimes we need to be able to read between the lines. People give clues to trauma, to dreams, to beliefs they don’t even realize they are revealing in their words, body language, and choices. One small warning about listening is to beware of emotional manipulation. Stories are powerful, and they can be used for good as well as for evil purposes. Not sure why I feel the need to say that here. 😊

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Sarah K. Butterfield's avatar

I need to work on window-opening questions with my kids as well! And I agree with what you said about emotional manipulation: any tool that can be used for good can also be used for evil.

And about the survey question... I was referring to the spectrum of theologically conservative to theologically progressive (not politics). A theologically progressive church, for example, would ordain women as pastors and put people who identify as LGBTQ+ in positions of leadership. Hope that makes sense!

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Sherry Fariss's avatar

Ok. Thanks, that’s clear now. There are so many terms out there whose meanings have shifted over the years, so it can be hard to know what they mean without context. I appreciate your clarification.

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Sarah K. Butterfield's avatar

That’s so true!

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Emily Curzon's avatar

Great idea to use the survey for a bit of research and direction - just completed it!

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Sarah K. Butterfield's avatar

Yay! Thanks so much!

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Linda Stoll's avatar

Dear Sarah, in this era of 'door-slamming questions' and disrespect and all the things that give us a headache, your overview of deeply listening well made me smile with hope.

'When we give someone the gift of our attention, of a deeply listening ear, we are embodying Christ’s love in the ultimate form of hospitality.'

Simply beautiful.

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Sarah K. Butterfield's avatar

Thank you for your kind words! I’m glad this made you smile today!

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Griffin Gooch's avatar

Beautiful 🙌🙌 this is right up my alley. Thank you so much for this!!

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Sarah K. Butterfield's avatar

I’m so happy to know this resonated with you, Griffin!

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Sandy Cooper's avatar

Thanks for the shoutout. What a lovely Monday morning surprise. ❤️

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Sarah K. Butterfield's avatar

My pleasure!

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